Making Friends with your Inner Child

I'm currently sitting in a cafe writing this blog post. I've just bought a couple of nice things for myself and am having my favourite drink. I love writing in cafes - I even have the atmosphere sounds of a cafe (coffee cups clinking, low level chatter) downloaded onto my iPod for when I need to do work. So you can imagine that right now I feel great. And yes I do.

But why am I doing this? And why do I feel so great when I do this? I believe it is because I am listening to my inner child who loves cafes and fizzy drinks, and nurturing her desires.

So what is an inner child?
Every adult has an inner child - the child part of them which they've brought to adulthood with them from young life. The inner child is the part of you which looks with curious excitement at the cakes in a shop window, or loves the idea of going on the swing in the kids park - it is full of excitement, hopes and dreams and is deeply linked to our creative selves.

The way adulthood differs from childhood is that we have learnt to parent that inner child ourselves. If you're on your way to a restaurant for dinner and you pass cakes in a shop window, your inner parent would kick in and stop you from buying the cakes in that moment.

The issue many adults face is that their inner parent is very controlling of their inner child. This could be as a result of having learnt inner parenting from a controlling parent. These people might ignore that creative longing, not listen to their fun and carefree side, or simply not even hear what their inner child needs.

How can I benefit from knowing this?
The good news is that this can be easily and rewardingly remedied simply by making friends with your inner child. The first step in this would be to connect with him/her. Ways to do this could include:

• Looking at photos of yourself as a child. 

• Talking with family about how you were as a child. 

• Do an inner child guided visualisation (download one here).

• Hold a favourite childhood object.

• Do things your childhood self would have enjoyed.

• Playing in the park (with an actual child or if it is empty!).

• Sucking your thumb. 

• Colouring in.

This can be a painful process, particularly if there were difficult aspects to your childhood. So give yourself time to do this and journal about the way you feel.

How can I really make friends with my inner child?
Then comes giving your inner child the nurturing he or she needs to flourish within your adult self and bring all their wonderful creative aspects to you. Dr Sandy has written about a method to nourish and nurture your inner child, using the acronym CALM:

C - Compassion
When you feel a feeling coming from your inner child, give yourself an affirmation, such as 'it's ok to feel this way' or 'I understand this feeling'.

A - Awareness
Dream big! Create a vision board of things your inner child likes and wants. Spend time discovering these things and congratulate yourself on finding them.

L - Laughter
That deep felt laughter, encourage it! Children love laughing and so do adults - go and see some comedy, watch some on Netflix, hang out with your funniest friend and let yourself laugh.

M - Marvel
Cultivate that childhood feeling of awe by using gratitude. Read more about it in The Magic (buy here). Be grateful for all the things your inner child brings you - your creativity, wisdom, hilarity and inner wisdom, and really feel the gratitude.

Image src: innerchild_.jpg